Travel Diaries: On Decision Making, Future Plans, What’s Next?
Maf-Travel-Insights: To Choose A Familiar Lifestyle Or To Take The Unknown Risky Path
I have done numerous decisions in my life that I couldn’t explain rationally.
I pick this entry from my offline journal. I wrote it 5 months ago but was not published. When I re-read it again, I learned more about my attitude and behavior towards work. It was an honest look how I was as an employee – my strengths and weaknesses… I did not edit nor delete anything. It was a free-flow writing.
Apparently, from the subtitle, I chose the latter.
1228pm@ Student Agency Bus en route to Prague from Cesky Krumlov
Czech Republic. 19 August 2015, Wednesday
I am writing this at a very cozy Student Agency bus en route to Prague from Cesky Krumlov. I am a little weary because I know I will need to make an important decision in a few days time. And the decision that I will have to do might have a huge impact in my life. My future plans. Or wherever I am heading. Right now.
I knew then though, deep inside me the decision I have to make. I am just trying to convince myself to do otherwise. My mind, is giving reasons in a logical way. It is acceptable and very rational. How I feel though, says the contrary. Not to take it. And who I am not to take when an opportunity is knocking on your door. When you are not looking for it. In the first place. My God Mafey — “you are ‘out’ of your mind!” My mind says. Yes, I am out of my mind. Maybe. I thought I hear another voice – “I am ‘in’ of my heart!”. Sounds grammatically wrong. Whatever that means.
I had an exchange a couple of messages with a Recruitment Consultant I met thru an ex-colleague. He sent me messages thru Whatsapp, Viber, email and I didn’t respond for several days. I was in Budapest (Hungary) at that time and I don’t have or don’t know the right words to say to my Recruitment Consultant. He was asking when will I come back to Singapore. I said, mid of August. He wants to know the exact date. I said without thinking, 22 August 2015. The Client wants to meet me in person. My Consultant even sounded a little pissed off when he didn’t hear from me for some days from Whatsapp and Viber. He told me if I am not interested with the job anymore, he will not push me that hard. Please don’t get me wrong. In all honesty, I feel honored for the job opportunities I keep receiving along the way. I have no idea what did I do to make me feel so bless with all the job opportunities I have had in the past. Until now. In all of them. I didn’t look for it. Either I will receive a recommendation, or an ex-colleague will ask me to join for a new project or someone (several) from LinkedIn will contact me. Though, I don’t have any impressive profile at LinkedIn. I don’t even have photo at the time when I am receiving several messages from people who would like to discuss few job opportunities at hand. Maybe, I am just lucky that the job I am doing is “in” in the market. The demand never runs out. I am really grateful for it. I take it as a blessing from heaven above. God is really good. All the time. I have to admit I am not a very ideal employee as you may call it. I’m pretty rebellious. I have problem with time. Punctuality as I define it, is a state I am getting there. I don’t just follow rules. I have difficulty doing things in a conventional way. But when I do something I always give my best. I don’t just give my mind (bright ideas, brilliant suggestions, rational thoughts etc.) I put my heart in anything that I do. That’s why it’s difficult for me to stay in a work when I couldn’t give my whole self. Because everything will be affected. I’m a result oriented person. And to me the end product is equally important that of the process that took place to achieve a particular milestones, organization goals and objectives. I believe it is my nature as a naturally oriented person who puts high emphasis on human relations. I treat everyone like how I wanted to treat myself. I give my full attention to each and every people I meet. I may not be the smartest staff nor I may lack skills and knowledge about something. But anything can be learned. Everything, actually. But the character or the building of an individual ….. is crucial. It doesn’t happen overnight. I always like to approach things using common sense. If there is some complicated stuff that requires complex action. I like to approach it with simplicity. Or at least how things can be simplified.
I take whatever it is that made me for who I am now. I owe it to my family. How my parents ……have brought me up – my upbringing. I owe it to them. To my family, my relatives, close friends. And to my Alma Mater who inculcated in my heart and in my mind to (always) Serve The People.
I will live like everyone else. While at the same time, I will live like not everyone else.
[I can’t believe I’m on my six weeks traveling now. Thank God for keeping me safe and for providing everything that I need].