Random Emotions, Future Travels, Volunteer Work

…do not worry about your life… Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

At this very moment, I don’t know exactly how am I feeling whether I am happy or sad. When I think about my dreams that can happen so soon, I feel extremely happy. In a sudden moment I will feel very lonely when I think about the relationships I have built with my colleagues, the strangers-turned-friends I found here in Singapore. Having this place I learned to call home only after 3 years, moving forward to 2 more years, 5 years all in all. I am back to feeling like a total stranger. Like when the first time I arrived here.

I will have to settle a lot of things before I leave. And although I am already at the right age, considered adult, capable of deciding everything on my own, I feel like there is a need to at least inform my mother when I have to do some major decisions in my life. Although, it’s not obligatory, for the sake of respect, I have to let her know. And I am not sure if anyone can understand the abrupt decision that I have just made. I won’t have any source of monthly fixed income now. I will solely rely on the savings that I purposely set aside for travels. I’ve no clear picture yet of what can I expect from the next adventure I am about to set foot.

Volunteer work sounds too noble… too good to be true. But aside from my passion for doing community work while incorporating the environmental factor, this is the best that I think I could do in order to travel at the same time. I am excited. Anxious. Very much looking forward. Nervous. Scared.I can choose to stay and continue do the things that I already know and capable of doing. Then everything becomes predictable. And then what’s next? That life has to be lived based from the predominant views set by the society? Or I dare take not-the-road-less-traveled nor frequently-traveled BUT the road already-traveled by those who courageously followed their own destiny. I am not sure exactly what I am talking about, whether I make sense or not. I am just listening to what my heart has to say. I accepted the fact that maybe. Perhaps. Probably. I am different than usual. I learned to embrace my uniqueness.

People say why trade my comforts to path uncertain and unknown. I honestly don’t believe in security. There is only one security I am counting in that is my Faith in my Fate. Yes, I admit there is so much uncertainty clouding in my mind. Because nothing is definite at the moment. But what I am certain is, I will never regret my decision. I wish to concur the message of my colleague and the advice of my friend: that (maybe) now is the best time to do the things that I have always wanted to do. I acknowledge my fear and uncertainty. And I let go. Just as I have always known myself: Maf… the Free-Spirited Explorer.

I am ready.

18 thoughts on “Random Emotions, Future Travels, Volunteer Work

  1. Mafs, so sad that you will probably be leaving Singapore..mamiss ko ang chikahan natin about travels. Anyway you will just be a facebook/blog away. This might prove to be a blessing in disguise. I’ll keep you in my prayers🙂 I really hope will bump into each other in EU or baka maisakatuparan pa din naman ang Morocco😀

    • Carms THANKS. You’ve been such a blessing in my life. Senti mode lang talaga ngayon. Perhaps it’s not something for good, I can’t really say, I don’t know. There are several opportunities coming in though like some previous colleagues inviting me to join their group. Will see. At the moment if its something almost the same then I might not take it and just pursue with this plans that I really intend to do.

      I really hope to see you maybe in Madrid! I just learned 12 October is their National Day! Perhaps there’s more to see and do🙂

      • mafs..kelan na tayo magmeet hahahaha..hoongglappitt na naamoy ko na ang Espanya…egzoittedd na ako. ganito na lang..may BBQ kami sa Sept.28 with opismeyts mostly pinoys un..join ka ha…txt kita sa details

    • Oh kaya pala di nag reply sa text hehe. Thanks for the invitation Carms! I must be okay with the date, just have to let you know medyo mahiyain ako haha.

      Sensya na ha sa dami ng niisip at gawain minsan nakakalimutan ko me blog nga pala ko 😉 minsan napapabayaan ko na sya…

      See you in Madrid then! and hopefully in Paris too!😀

  2. Bravo! This was an inspiring post.

    ¨the road already-traveled by those who courageously followed their own destiny.¨ This path is very risky but if you are doing it for the right reason- then follow your path of bliss. Marami tayo in this road – free spirited explorers- you are not alone. I felt the same exact uncertainty before. Three months ago I quit my good paying stable university job in China and took all my savings with me here to live in South America. I´ve been here now for a month in Chile studying Spanish. Like you, hindi ko gusto to be doing the same thing I was doing in China for five years which is teaching. I wanted to follow my dream which is to be a writer. Now I´ve been working as a copywriter sa PR area for an American company here which I would never have found in China. Sayang lang walang bayad kase internship eh pero, I think it´s a step. I¨m uncertain yet what´s going to happen but like you, I will let go and let HIM decide. Tapos yung friend ko din recently quit his job sa Bangkok to move to the UK – on his savings din para mag -aral sa kanyang Masters.

    O sya I think ang haba na ng comment to – parang post na. Outonvacay- sayang hindi tayo nag meet sa Cebu (next time). And I haven´t danced the tango yet in Bueno Aires but it´s 14 hours by bus away (kailangan ng visa ate). Pero Machuu Pichuu in Peru, Salar de Uyuni in Bolivia and Brazil are visa free and waiting. Kailangan mag save kase wala pang trabaho dito.

    Kung gusto mo mag-chat lang through this path of uncertainty (kase nakakatakot eh), pwede mo ako ma PM. anyway, mag dasal ako para sa iyo. Good luck sa all your future adventures and to all free spirited explorers! The door is open, all you have to do is enter it.🙂

    • Kate, you have no idea how your comments made me feel. THANK YOU. Don’t worry, I like reading long comments🙂. Your story inspires me. I realized this kind of path is easier said than done. Ngayon kasi eto na talaga yung desisyon ko pero may mangilan ngilan pang oportunidad na lumalapit na aaminin ko nakakaapekto sa plano ko. I can always choose the easy way like staying in my comfort zone. But I will never know what will happen if I buried forever some of my dreams to remain as dreams just because I am not courageous enough. I still have fears but I trust that as I go along with the transition all will be well.

      I’m happy to know about your current updates. Ang tapang mo rin at nakakabilib ka. I hope to meet you in person in South America sometime in the future!🙂

      • opppsss na send kagad I will definitely contact you once I’m there because I really don’t know what it will be like. Thanks again Kate. All the best to you and I wish for your success!🙂

  3. I read this post again and realized I have more to say. And when I say more, I mean MORE!😀 In the mood ako to write at wala na akong blog nyahaha! Alam mo Mafey, bilib talaga ako sa mga tao na kayang talikuran ang security. Ang hirap nun. Pano ka kakain? Pano na ang pang-shopping? Pano ka bibili ng bagong Iphone every year? Haha! Pero mas bilib ako sa mga nakakapagsikmura ng trabaho ng development worker lalo’t voluntary. Alam mo naman siguro yung pinagdaanan natin sa SPISP. What would have been such a wonderful mission turned-out to be a kind of a flop. I honestly considered myself a kind of superhero when we started kase ang noble ng goals ng project. We were going to change the world! I am such a sucker for such things haha! Kaya kahit harap-harapan na natin nakikita ang corruption ng tao sa paligid natin, ultimo mga lowly stringers, e kinakaya ko kase I really like noble jobs. In fact, my current job I still consider a very noble-changing-the-world type of profession.

    Pero what I cannot ever do is be confident that money will come no matter what. I took those 2 noble jobs because as mentioned, I get to be a superhero but at the same time they both pay well. Shooting 2 birds with one stone kung baga. Hindi ako galiing sa mayamang pamilya e and I’ve seen my parents work their asses off to feed us so ang thinking ko has always been that work is reality. We can’t escape it. We all need to work to eat and be decent. So ako, I painstakingly balance both worlds kahit na minsan, very tempting mag-volunteer work. My dream has always been to do some work for the IP’s.

    So ako, my grand plan is to work like a horse right now and by the time I’m in my middle age and have become a millionaire (or billionaire hehe!), I can swim in money while focusing majority of my energy to doing philantrophy. Have you heard of what Bea Zobel has done? I wish to do something like that in the future.

    But I think this shrowded in secrecy decision of yours is something not very ordinary. I bet it is something that will allow you to live somewhere where it will be exciting. A dream destination for you perhaps. Parang shooting 2 birds with 1 stone din hehe!

    So I all I really wanted to say is good luck, dear. Balitaan mo ko😀

    • Hi Drew,

      I appreciate your comment very much. THANK YOU. I want to give you a KISS…😛

      I am a traveler so forgive me if I am not certain where am I going. I am not a tourist because I know where I have been.

      KISS – Keep It Short & Simple😀

      Babalitaan kita. Don’t worry.

      Hanggang sa muli,
      Mafey

    • Nope Drew tama lang hehe. Minsan natatameme lang ako kasi I need to collect my thoughts and step back to see my situation. Should be alright. Hindi naman sya forever temporary lang. Ang pera kasi madali lang naman kitain basta masikap ka lang and I don’t want to wait for my old age before I do the things that I wanted to do when I have the time right now. And I never mentioned that work is not a reality. I wish to clarify that I am not escaping from anything. I am merely taking a break. There is never any perfect organization. Even the org where I am actively involve here has its own flaws. I think it’s a matter of choosing the kind of problem that you would like to be involved in to be part of the solution. Mukhang ako naman yung may gana ngayon mag comment hehe. Enjoy Thailand! And I might extend

  4. hi Mafey…nice to read about this blog…..you’re right no one is actually secure in this life…everyday we are to face a challenge but not a chaos i may say..” i truly believed ….its really which one you chose to be a part of the solution to have turned to a POSITIVE outcome….GOD BLESS mate…..enjoy every moment of your endeavor!

    • Hi Ate Au,
      Thanks for taking the time reading my posts. When I re-read again what I have written previously, I am learning a lot about myself. God bless you too and thanks for dropping by once again! Regards🙂

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