Sunrise at NAIA Terminal2

There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort.  ~Jane Austen

I don’t know. Something doesn’t just feel right. I’m not sure if it has something to do with what happened at work the other day. Or maybe I am just really tired and had not got enough rest after seeing three places in a row.

When I was about to land at the airport three days ago, I wish I am coming home. I wish the plane is touching down Ninoy Aquino International Airport. I am so looking forward for my cute little niece waiting for me at the arrival area. That with a piece of chocolate she never seems to get tired of waiting for me.

I thought of buying a ticket and surprise my family to show up out of nowhere. But over the weekend is not enough. I know I am just going to wear out myself the more. And I could not afford to commit another blunder that would suffer my work.

It’s just surprising when everything else seems right to feel wrong. While going back to my flat an hour ago I just feel like as if I am at the wrong place. Just a weird feeling I know. I don’t know.

I am just terribly missing my family I guess. It’s different. The laughter. The smiles. The unbeatable humour. Endless stories. Sleepless nights. The fun-filled karaoke time. The pancit canton + tea session at midnight. Sneaking out at 3am to drive thru McDonalds. The never-ending party at the roof top. Oh how I miss them! My niece, my sisters, my cousins, my relatives, my mother… I miss tuyo, danggit, inihaw na tulingan, enseladang mangga na may bagoong, pritong talong, ginanga, sinantol, pakbet na luto ni Manang Virgie and my Madir’s very own suman and tikoy.

Then a question would popped up:- Why did I left home? In the first place I did not dream of working abroad. I was living a pretty comfortable life way back. Would come to work at 7am to 4pm from Mondays thru Fridays, attend class after work, go for field practicum on weekends, travel at least two times a month. If my boss is not satisfied with my performance, as a form of punishment, she would extend my travel from three weeks up to one month. Since I am traveling alone on official business, there I learned to do side trips. If I am in Cebu I would find myself in Bohol over the weekend. Driving a  scooter motorbike from Tubigon passing by Chocolate Hills, man-made forest, stop over at Loboc river, go for lunch cruise, see the Tarsius Syrichta, drop by at Baclayon church, ended up in Tagbilaran and back to work on Monday as usual. In one occasion, I also find myself left in Butuan City to travel eight hours via mini bus and then take habal habal to some remote area in Agusan del Sur just to visit and meet up with a classmate and a Manobo friend living in a beautiful mountain.

Back in Manila, I and my colleague friends would  occasionally sneak out from work and head to Trinoma or SM the block or Gateway mall to do some girl thing. Although I’m not really the mall-type of person, it’s just fun with friends. On stressful days when I could not juggle with work, school requirements, field work, I try to relax and slow down going on a gym, attending yoga and go for sauna bath afterwards. If lucky, a friend would drive us to Tagaytay and spend a day there overlooking Taal Lake, climb to Palace in the sky and then spend hours at coffee shop (though I don’t really drink coffee) just chilling out. On other days, we would eat fish balls and drink sago’t gulaman at Diliman shopping centre. I remember one time cycling all the way from Philcoa up to to Fairview! And I was super duper full of sticky dust all over my body when I reached home. So yucky. But it was a fun experience. Or we would catch to watch Siti Navarro’s live performance at Libis and after concert would ask her for a personalized autograph of her latest CD album we bought or we would go to Tapica (something sounds like that) to see MYMP band performs every Wednesday. Life was pretty easy. Although busy. And everything seems predictable.

Until boredom hits me. And I feel like wanting a totally whole new experience. Away from my comfort zone.

And who would know if it’s written. Or maybe it’s just a path that I have to take. In one of the most unexpected moment, I was having a holiday in Davao, somewhere in Samal Island. I got an email asking if I’m interested to work overseas. Blame it to my adventurous spirit, I grab the opportunity and just let go of everything. And as the cliché would say, the rest is history.

It is getting late. I hope I could reach my family from across. Typing at my favourite place, definitely not at the most beautiful beach, just enough for me to unwind with my constant companion when roaming around, Veri (my silver folding bicycle). After about finishing my strawberry bubble tea, I am feeling the cooling wind penetrating my weary soul, the soothing sound of sea waves at my back, and the look like almost full moon glittering in the sky, I am feeling a lot better now.

Thank you. I have no idea how the mind works. I just let my hands type what it feels like saying. I am flabbergasted to see how my writing has brought me back to those days. With those recollections I feel like I went home. I still miss home. Terribly. But now I would be okay.

Sunset at Quezon City

12 thoughts on “I Miss HOME

  1. I can definitely relate Mafey. During my first year living abroad, all I thought about was to go home even just for a weekend. I felt like a fool missing things that I used to complain about like traffic and flood. Then came the opportunity to come back and realized, home is not here. Home is where I just came from. I realized I’ve become different and learned to appreciate the life that I built for myself away from “home.” I realized, there is no amount of Trinoma, Gateway or Tagaytay can ever replace the painstaking ways in which I tried to provide myself a decent, grown-up life in a foreign land. I learned to be proud of myself and be grateful for what was written for me.

    I’m still grateful for the memories that the past has given me but I can never trade it for my future.

    Look around you. I think you are home =)

    1. I’m happy to know that someone can relate =). Perhaps it’s normal to once in a while experience this kind of stuff? …to miss the familiar, the comforts of home especially when we are feeling down. Through the years, I have built my own definition of home away from home that I knew… and the biggest ‘take away’ that I’ve got is my ‘independence’. Living overseas is not easy after all yet I’d say living my independence is the most liberating thing that ever happened to me.

      Like you, I will always be grateful of the past memories. Perhaps I only need to open myself more for further path that I have to walk through.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts Drew!

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