I’m a big believer of Paulo Coelho’s line in his best selling book “The Alchemist” that “when you want something all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it”.
I have been dreaming for quite a long time to have a site of my own, a little space where I can share untold stories of my travel adventures and my love for capturing the scenery of the places I am visiting. But I am hesitant and so uncertain how to proceed. One dusk, at the East Coast while sipping my favorite bubble tea, out of the blue, some thoughts popped up into my mind telling me to get in touch with some friends who are in line with information technology, are knowledgeable about computers and ask for their help. Just try and see what happens. I have tried and after a few attempts I didn’t seem to be lucky. Until I was led to an ex-colleague, Drew who’s kind enough to help me put up my own blog. Funny how in life often those you least expect are the ones who help you out. [As novice as I am I was really amazed we’ve made it through skype since we’re geographically in different locations. =]
I am happy to have it finally come true. It’s a work in progress. I still need to learn many things. While the word “blogger” has not yet sink in with me, all the more my fears have not by no means subside. Fears after fears are kept coming in.
1. Lack of technical know-how. I’d be honest to tell, I have no slightest idea how to ran this site and how will it turn out. I confess, I am not an internet savvy. I am oblivious when it comes to use of this digital technology.
2. I doubt my ability to write. I am not a writer by profession, although I was involved in our organization’s newsletter back in college but that was many years ago. And I had not gone to any refresher course nor involved into similar stuff since then. Lately, I‘ve got into some sort of addiction reading the blog of few fellows who are into this sphere. I can’t help but admire and envy them at the same time. I admire how eloquently they can put their thoughts into words and come up with a very good piece to read and I envy because I wish I can be like them. I feel so small when I am struggling with my grammar or sentence construction and sometimes I ran out of English words to express my thoughts. )=
3. Negativity. Every now and then my mind is clouded with fears and pessimism, I would hear, can I really do this? Can I make it stay for long term basis? I fear I am not good enough. My insecurities are eating me out knowing there are many people out there who are better than me.
4. Hesitations. Will somebody out there would even care to read about what I would post? Would it really matter to them? Will they even bother to visit my site? In the first place, do I really have something to share or is it just me who’s thinking that I am living a peculiar and exciting life? Or am I into deep illusion? And the list goes on…
It’s 45 minutes past 2am now, I’m still wide awake, I have 8am work tomorrow and I keep worrying about it or maybe I am just thinking too much. I have to end this now. I will sleep on it and just see what happens. Tomorrow.